Would You Let the Jello Jiggle if it Furthered the Cause?

Written on January 26, 2012 by in movie biz

I got a frightening email today. Not threatening-frightening, but the kind that makes you kick yourself because you should have been prepared.  And all the ways you should have been prepared come crashing down to haunt you.

Let me ‘splain.

You’ve heard me talk before about how Todd is directing an animated movie?  This animation requires motion capture. His studio hired professional Cirque du Soleil type clowns to come in and act. They are supposed to act out the movie scene  so animators can use that footage to animate each movie character more believably.

Today Todd sent me an emergency email saying the clowns weren’t working out.

I should be flattered, right? Apparently, while these clowns are masters at what they do (I mean, come on, have you seen their twisty selves?!)  they just aren’t the best for acting out a movie script. He needed an actor for that.

Enter me.

I am an actor. I am also on the failing end of a new 2012 diet.  The kind where you tell yourself, it’s not a diet, it’s my new way of eating!

You know that phenomena where you fail at your new way of eating and the failure leaves you worse off than before?

You know how when you have to go stand in front of a mo-cap crew wearing tight black clothing and dance around acting out movie scenes all you can really think about is how jiggly your mid-section is?

And how now it’s all being immortalized on a big screen forever?

And not just your jiggly self, but your new 2012 failed diet self, which is bigger than ever?

That. That is what came crashing down to haunt me today.  If only. If only I had stuck to my new way of eating.

I tell you, if you have failed on your 2012 weight loss goals you can not be more accountable or sorry than I am right now.

Feel safe. Feel spared.

And then get back up and start again–I may be calling on you in the next few months to be in a movie.

Scream all you want too, this will be your best motivation EVER.

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Home Improvement

Written on January 25, 2012 by in pets

Knock, knock.

Why, Merri!  It looks like Extreme Home Makeover has been here.

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Old House…

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New House.

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You look quite satisfied.

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Even Daisy is impressed.

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Poor Daisy, nobody thought to give her her very own house with curtains and a comfy bed.

But she probably doesn’t care that we love the cats more than her.

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Did you hear that?

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She’s Lucky it was George

Written on January 24, 2012 by in pets, photography, the tonka files

Let’s add up your list, shall we, Tonka?

Wii Remote

Camera

iPod

Shoes

Makeup

Soap

Deodorant

Stuffed Animals

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It’s like throwing money down the drain, ripping it up, chewing on it, and spitting it out.

So I guess we can add money to the list of things Tonka has destroyed.

She’s lucky it was a George and not a Jackson.

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Love is blind.

Love is expensive.

Love endures dollar breath.

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We’ve Been Dumped On

Written on January 23, 2012 by in kidlife, photography

Now, this is more like it.  Snow, snow, everywhere you step.  We finally got dumped on and I don’t have to shovel it.

That’s what kids are for.

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Hey, Greyson.  How’s all that hard work coming?

Back breaking, physical labor and all?

Ring a bell?

Sawyer’s out here helping too, isn’t he?

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I guess he’s too busy to comment.

I see a replay of Ralphie and A Christmas Story.

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Speaking of Christmas, we have yet to undress our front hedges.

These are all-season lights. We’re waiting for Easter.

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This is why the kids are out here.  They’re using the shovels to build a fort.  We really pay a service to shovel our driveway–you just can’t believe everything you read on the internet. I could take these pictures and make them say anything.

But I would never do that.

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“Hey Mom, I just wanted to say thanks for having those fresh blueberry crepes with whipped cream waiting on the table for us this morning. I don’t know how you did that and your exercise bike all before 5am!”

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That’s really sweet of him to sing my praises but you want to know how to tell if they really love you?

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When they tire of snow fort building and decide to venture around the corner to the treat store,

will they remember that a Skor bar is your favorite?

Do they even think of you at all, now that they are out of your sight?

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Why, yes. Yes they do.

Not that I would eat this whole double bar, mind you.

But it can be crushed up and put in your chocolate chip cookie dough.

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Happy Monday, everybody!

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Anybody Want a Wabbit?

Written on January 20, 2012 by in pets

Guess what I just found out?

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Those furry little creatures my daughter takes care of?

The ones we have six of?

I’m allergic.

It’s a good thing they aren’t in the house.  They used to have a dedicated pet room in the basement, but not any more!

We moved them to the garage.

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Poor little pampered pets.  Wherever shall you roam?

We thought about letting them roam free in the backyard as chew toys for Tonka–

I jest, I jest!

You would not believe how hard it is to give away bunnies. I’ve tried Kijiji and Craigslist. And you can’t just do a Born Free on them.  That is frowned upon because they, well, they die in the wild.

I tried the big city pound that accepts rabbits and gives them new homes, but I don’t live in their service area. Which is ironic, considering I’ve patronized them to get animals. I just can’t use this pound to re-home my animals.

It’s a quandary.

A quandary I greet every time I start up the van.

So far, we are peacefully co-existing but something’s gotta give.

Put the word out, if you live near Montreal. You can have the pick of the pack, which is this guy right here.

Scooter Junior– loved, but not enough to endure inflamed lungs. Now, there’s a great selling point!

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Bedraggled

Written on January 19, 2012 by in kidlife


They’ve just spent the last 2 hours sledding down and climbing up a snow hill.  This is what they look like when they come home.

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I didn’t let them take off their sopping wet things right away, “wait!  Let me get a picture first!”.

It’s the nurturing side of me.

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They are soaking wet, bedraggled, and exhausted.

I think that may be why they are still standing there and not protesting.  They don’t have the energy.

Something in the recesses of my mind echos that hot chocolate and warm cookies are in order.

But I’ve greeted them with a flash photo session instead.

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Have mercy, Momma. My sled, it’s broken. Is there no warmth or comfort to be found in this house?

Not when there’s a blog post to write, boy!

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They’re going to have such fond memories of their childhood.

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Who’s In Charge Here?!

Written on January 18, 2012 by in kidlife, photography

Their floor was covered with blocks and little figurines.

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It looked like a mess to me…

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But clearly–

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Someone was in charge.  And I bet it was this guy.

I might adopt his stance next time I have something authoritative to convey.

Who would fail to take you seriously if you were staring them down looking like this?

Clean your room, now!

I have to wait how long to see the doctor?

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I’m usually this guy.

There are 20 people in line and only one cash register open? I’ll just stand here, and wait my turn.

I always admire people who are more ninja than I.

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Here’s a whole pile of them, just waiting to take on the world.

But we all know who’s really in charge…

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Even the ninja eventually meets his master.

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Hungry

Written on January 11, 2012 by in kidlife

What are you doing, Tristan?

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Need I ask?

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I wonder if snow has a mineral content, clean snow, that is?

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Are you going to eat that whole thing?

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How silly of me to ask.  Of course you have to save a piece for…

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The traditional smashing of the head.

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Winter combines two of his favorite pastimes.

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Smashing and eating, it’s what boys do best.

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The Battle Ax- A Multitasking Tool

Written on January 10, 2012 by in kidlife, pets

Weapons were big at our house this Christmas. There have been battles, wars and duals, and all manner of death by Nerf.

But the most popular game has been…

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Whack-an-arrow.

Kind of a hybrid baseball game.

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All you need is a pitcher.

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And a hitter.

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Three strikes and you’re out, or whenever all the arrows have rolled under the couch and it’s your turn to fetch them.

It’s just a lot easier to say, “Yourrrrrrrrrrr OUT!”

Considering Tonka’s affinity for chewing random toys, there’s an added incentive to gather arrows promptly.

 The Nerf Buster.

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Bits and Pieces

Written on January 5, 2012 by in grandma's house, photography

Remember the two lines Todd painted on the canvas?

It was going to be a present for Grandma and Grandpa.

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Here it is half finished.  He’ll do the rest when we go back to visit this summer.

Until then, it sits waiting on the wall, wondering what it will eventually be.

We feel a kinship, this painting and I.

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Grandma’s house faces these trees, where the squirrels live.  They come over for breakfast.

Grandma loves to feed the birds, and the squirrels horn in on the bounty.

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We sit around the breakfast table and watch all the little birdies eat.  Sometimes there will be as many as 8 squirrels out there too.

And sometimes, there will be a hawk.  Word gets around. Grandma’s bird feeder turns into a bird-of-prey buffet.

It’s the circle of life all in a 10 yard radius.

Since Grandma’s not too keen on turning happy little birdies into little happy meals she usually shoos the hawk away…

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He turns tail and leaves as soon as he hears the back door open.

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This  is a hill that borders Grandma’s property.  And this the reason the kids wanted to bring their skateboards.

We forgot the skateboards.

How convenient!

They could have burned off hours of energy out here going down hill, but the daredevil in them probably would have landed them in the emergency room.

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This has nothing to do with Grandma’s house, except that we pass it on the main road.  Every time we go by, I crane my neck to get a better look. This house is intriguing to me.  I want an architect to draw up plans so I can rebuild it sometime, somewhere.

I love the porch, but do you think it would make the house too dark inside? It blocks a lot of light.

Light wins in the end for me.  Photographers need light!

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So I’ll just feel sorry for it instead. Poor old abandoned house. I think you must have lived a grand life at one time, with your big old barn and many acres.

I wish I knew your story. The Life of a House– somebody ought to do the history.

I can tell you the history of OUR house–

Toddlers to teens to not-enough-room.  We’re bursting at the seams.

Maybe a house like this wouldn’t be so bad after all!

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We’re home now and finding places for all the new Christmas toys.

Apparently, I do not know the correct usage of a battle ax,

but that’s tomorrow’s post…

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