I got a frightening email today. Not threatening-frightening, but the kind that makes you kick yourself because you should have been prepared. And all the ways you should have been prepared come crashing down to haunt you.
Let me ‘splain.
You’ve heard me talk before about how Todd is directing an animated movie? This animation requires motion capture. His studio hired professional Cirque du Soleil type clowns to come in and act. They are supposed to act out the movie scene so animators can use that footage to animate each movie character more believably.
Today Todd sent me an emergency email saying the clowns weren’t working out.
I should be flattered, right? Apparently, while these clowns are masters at what they do (I mean, come on, have you seen their twisty selves?!) they just aren’t the best for acting out a movie script. He needed an actor for that.
Enter me.
I am an actor. I am also on the failing end of a new 2012 diet. The kind where you tell yourself, it’s not a diet, it’s my new way of eating!
You know that phenomena where you fail at your new way of eating and the failure leaves you worse off than before?
You know how when you have to go stand in front of a mo-cap crew wearing tight black clothing and dance around acting out movie scenes all you can really think about is how jiggly your mid-section is?
And how now it’s all being immortalized on a big screen forever?
And not just your jiggly self, but your new 2012 failed diet self, which is bigger than ever?
That. That is what came crashing down to haunt me today. If only. If only I had stuck to my new way of eating.
I tell you, if you have failed on your 2012 weight loss goals you can not be more accountable or sorry than I am right now.
Feel safe. Feel spared.
And then get back up and start again–I may be calling on you in the next few months to be in a movie.
Scream all you want too, this will be your best motivation EVER.
I just started hyperventilating on your behalf because I have gained back EVERY ONE of the 18 pounds I lost last year and if those 18 pounds had to squeeze into a black suit and cinematically captured?
I. would. die.
On the plus side, clowns should have bellies, right? Fat is funny!
NOOOOOOoooooo. Say it isn’t so! This is too much to bear. We need whipped cream on something warm and comforting.
I hope you were paid well, in whatever currency is your love language.
We’ll find out–today is the day! I’m trying to figure out how to get Todd to see your amazingly intelligent and insightful comment.
Such a good wife.
i feel your pain. i really do. and i knew EXACTLY what this post was about when i saw the title… i imagined a green screen and dots.
because i feel your pain!
jewels on your crown for fulfilling your duty. and humorously blogging about it means you have a pretty good attitude.
“No, there is too much. Let me sum up.”
Is that right? Were you quoting The Princess Bride? Please say you were. Please?
I think it’s cool that you get to do these things. I am sorry about the unfortunate diet/eating circumstances. I think you are a beautiful lady!
YES, you got it!! Thank you for providing the next line. I KNEW someone would know, and it was YOU!
Hey there…I just wanted to say thanks for the comment, it made my day! I have been trying to get back on the blogging track! I didn’t have a computer for a while, but now I’m back in business!