I had a chance to make Oatmeal Crispies and double the recipe. This allowed me to put 2 big, fat rolls of cookie dough in the freezer.

 “Mom, is there anything to eat?”

“Why, yes.”

I like having an answer.

And I like not throwing a box of Oreos at them.

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I adapted the recipe to use fresh-ground whole wheat flour from my grain mill, and also used organic non-hydrogenated shortening.

Do you know why I go to these extra lengths?

Do you know why I spend the extra time and money?

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So I can come home from a short trip down the street to pick up Mckenna at the barn and find the whole roll of cookie dough gone.

And only the wrapper left lying on the floor.

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Apparently I make fresh and wholesome cookie dough for DOG FOOD.

I can’t believe you ate the whole roll, Tonka.

It’s not even cooked—yet. We can throw the whole kit and caboodle into the oven and change that.

It’s still set to 350.

Welcome to the sixth in our series of — Tonka: The Worst Dog in the World.  Today we will be exploring makeup application for canines.

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There’s no need to use high dollar cosmetics. I know this departs from our usual high dollar preference, as when eating a camera or an iPod.  But eye shadow is eye shadow when it comes to dogs.

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There may be a lot to choose from in your cosmetic bag, but try to limit your selection to eye shadow for the purposes of this tutorial.

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As a side note, you may want to purchase a special pillow just for this; it may save the floor from unnecessary stains.

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Now, just a light arc of color in the crease of the eye is the most flattering.  Here we see “Cranberry”.

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The same color can be carried down onto the cheekbone for a more dramatic effect.

Makeup removal is a breeze–

throw the whole thing outside.

For a long, long time.

There is no way to break this to you gently.

I can diffuse it.

Soften it.

Screen it.

But in the end, you must prepare yourself.

I suggest you put your coffee down.

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She did it again.

Does something look a little off with this camera?

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Not up to snuff?

Lacking?

Inferior?

Hmmmm.

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I think I see a pattern.

Yes, a distinct pattern of bite marks.

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What kind of dog contemplates an electronic and assesses it as a chew toy?

What kind of dog!???

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And what kind of dog KEEPS CHEWING.

Goodbye, camera. Your screen is black forever now, like the place in my heart that used to hold endearment for my dog.

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Not this dog.

You’re the best dog in the world, aren’t you Daisy?

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Just look at that face, pure sweetness.

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And devotion. It’s in the eyes.  She’d never betray you.  Unlike her counterpart there, in the background chewing as usual.

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Ah, you’ve got a bone this time. Fancy that.  And yes, I am talking to you.

Can I just ask you, what made you stop?  Was it the taste of  auto flash, or the shards of digital screen that were unpalatable?  I mean, why not go all the way and just chew the whole thing in two?

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Daisy would never do such a thing. She respects our property, don’t you Daisy?

Such a good dog!  Do you want a treat, Daisy?  Does Daisy want a treat?!

Do you want a biscuit?  Do you want a cookie?  Do you want….a……………

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Camera?

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See. She’s a good dog.

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Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for leaving our remotes, controllers, and cameras alone.

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YOU on the other hand are in the doghouse.

Don’t give me the evil eye.

I know what you’re thinking, the only thought in your little head right now…

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How good it tasted.